It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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