I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
is that a dick in a sweater?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
