you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Randomize
