Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
