and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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