it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
