How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You've changed since you got that strap on
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
