Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
