im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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