I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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