OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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