some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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