hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
