no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
