The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
