Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize