Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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