My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
