And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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