her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
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It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
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don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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