like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
