he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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