and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
