Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
