Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i dont even know how to be here
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize