I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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