i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
