what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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