I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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