dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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