i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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