Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
no you cant smoke seaweed
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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