sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
