I CAN MOONWALK!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
