Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
