the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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