His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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