I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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