remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
