man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize