can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
