I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dicks are not precious.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
