yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
