oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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