you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
