Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
