Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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