i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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