If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Hippo gnu deer
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Randomize
