Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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