Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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