Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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