Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
How external is "for external use only"?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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