i'm lost and i look like a hooker
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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