i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
it's like iHOP with fire
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
