shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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