I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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