You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
