is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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