when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
