i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
