i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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