Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
