i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
