who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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